Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan, representing Kogi Central Constituency, has written her ‘Satirical Apology Letter’ to Godswill Akpabio, President of the Nigerian Senate.
This is coming in the midst of the brouhaha between both Senators; Natasha has been placed on a six-month suspension by the Ethics Committee of the Senate following her sexual harassment claims against Akpabio.
Senato Natasha’s (X/@LangoMistake) Apology Letter to Senator Akpabio below:
Satirical Apology Letter
From the Desk of Senator Natasha Akpoti Uduaghan
Dear Distinguished Senate President Godswill Akpabio,
It is with the deepest sarcasm and utmost theatrical regret that I tender this apology for the grievous crime of possessing dignity and self-respect
in your most exalted presence. I have reflected extensively on my unforgivable failure to recognize that legislative success in certain quarters is apparently not earned through merit, but through the ancient art of compliance – of the very personal kind.
How remiss of me not to understand that my refusal to indulge your… “requests” was not merely a personal choice, but a constitutional violation of the unwritten laws of certain men’s entitlement. Truly, I must apologize for prioritizing competence over capitulation, vision over vanity, and the people’s mandate over private dinners behind closed doors.
I now realize the catastrophic consequences of my actions: legislation delayed, tempers flared, and the tragic bruising of egos so large they require their own postcodes.
For this disruption to the natural order of “quid pro quo,” I bow my head in fictional shame.
Please find it in your magnanimous heart — somewhere buried deep beneath layers of entitlement — to forgive this stubborn woman who mistakenly believed that her seat in the Senate was earned through elections, not erections.
I remain,
Yours in eternal resistance,
Senator Natasha H Akpoti
Unafraid, Unbought, and Unbroken
